I've seen it
by procrastinationisvital
Summary: Kill Ari Pt. 1 expansion - Why does Tony know so much about the effects of different bullet wounds? Tony breaks down after Kate's death hits a little too close to home. Oneshot. Hurt/Comfort. Tony/Gibbs slash referenced (briefly, minorly, basically nonexistent) Rated T for a tiny little curse moment and for some semi-graphic gore.


**A/N: Hello again, just another little expansion on the scene in the beginning of "Kill Ari Part 1" (S3E1) and my thoughts on why Tony seems to know so much about the effects of a gunshot to the head. Slash but incredibly tame, rated for a wee language moment. Enjoy!**

Tony took a step forward, fear and anger and hurt and confusion coursing through his body. He was shaking, adrenaline powering though his veins as he stood nose to nose with McGee.

"Bullet that size'd put a hole the size of a grapefruit in the back of your head McGee"

He spat out, bringing his fist around to the back of his Probie's head and clenching his jaw in unbridled fury.

Why?

Why his Katie?

He could feel the urge to hit something surge through him and a small part of his mind regretted taking his anger out on McGee before Gibbs appeared suddenly beside him, squeezing between him and Tim and placing a calm but firm hand on his chest.

"Tony… please" Tim pleaded, tears beginning to well in his eyes before he could stop them.

"Snap out of it DiNozzo, thats an order" Gibbs growled.

"I've seen it before Gibbs. I know it, I've seen it" Tony's words spilled out over each other, his mind moving fasted than his brain, "Baltimore, Philly, Peoria, here - you've seen it too! Senseless murders of pretty girls with their brains spilling out the back of their heads and their futures gone; just like that. Some sick fuck pulls a trigger and their lives are- you've seen it! You know it too!"

"Stop" Gibbs' voice was low and angry and Tim wasn't sure if Tony was going to beat the shit out of their boss or melt into a puddle of absolute despair. The tension in the room was palpable, raw emotion rolling off each member of the team.

"I saw it with my mom"

Tony's words came out as no more than a whisper and the sheer anguish, the absolute hopelessness was enough to cut McGee to the core.

"Tony, baby, stop this - you don't want to do this here, not now" Gibbs' calming words seemed to touch something inside Tony and he practically melted into his boss' arms. A small voice in the back of Tim's mind reminded him that Kate had been right about there being something more to Tony and Gibbs' relationship, but he pushed it aside. It hardly seemed relevant now, he was just glad someone else was there to deal with Tony in this state.

Tony allowed himself to be pulled into Gibbs' embrace, but did not return the gesture as his partner wrapped his arms around him.

"I saw it, when I heard the gunshot. I knew what he had done, I knew she was gone. I didn't know the back of her skull would be… oh God… They don't tell you that, that a bullet that size would blow a hole the size of a grapefruit in the back of her head. They don't show that shit on telly. But I saw it. I saw it today."

By this point Tony was shaking so hard it came as no surprise to Gibbs when he crumbled into his arms, Gibbs taking most of his weight as they both came to kneel on the floor, Tony still enveloped in his lover's arms.

"You shouldn't have seen that Tony, you know that. You shouldn't have seen that aged 10 just as McGee shouldn't have seen it today. Nobody should have to see that, not ever. Nobody needs to know that"

Gibbs hand was now cupping the back of Tony's head, the other holding him upright as they rocked gently on the floor of the bullpen. Tony was now totally silent and Tim watched on as the man he so admired broke into a thousand pieces.

He hung his head as a tear dropped off the end of his nose.

"It's alright. I'm alright" Kate's soft voice resonated behind him. Looking behind he saw a paler version of his late partner standing a few metres away against the brick wall. He knew he was hallucinating but McGee wasn't willing to push this dream away too soon.

She was beautiful, something McGee hadn't fully appreciated until now. Her pale skin was perfect, no sign of the red mark across her forehead that he'd seen when she'd been wheeled out of the warehouse. The back of her head was in tact, her soft brown hair falling neatly onto the curve of her neck.

She was beautiful.

"Just look after them", she said, gesturing to the two men sitting silently on the floor - each seeking comfort in the embrace of the other.

"Just look after them, I'll be fine"


End file.
